The One Truth: Why Men Will Never Grow Up
So I’m writing this book called “The Guys Guide to Surviving IN Love & Marriage” and here’s the first chapter.
Listen up guys, I am about to bestow upon you, my brothers, THE ONE TRUTH that will from here on, help you understand and survive the women you love.
Why is it, that no matter how many chores we do, how much money we make, or how many responsibilities we take-on at home, in the eyes of our wives, we will always be hopelessly immature and irresponsible? (And I say wives because girlfriends, at this point in their lives, still think you’re fun, boyish and carefree.)
After many years of thought on the topic I have finally divined the reason why we are always accused of having the Peter Pan syndrome (never growing up). This piece of information will give you the understanding you need to better live with, accept and love your spouse. This nugget is the eye-opener, the “A-HA!” moment, the light-bulb that will make all things clear. And now I will give you this gift and when I do, absorb it, digest it, and let it sink slowly into your consciousness.
The reason why we will never grow up in the eyes of our wives is due to their definition of what “grown-up” is. To women, grown-up means…(drumroll)…to THINK EXACTLY LIKE THEM.
That’s it…to think like them, to worry about what they worry about, to anticipate what they anticipate, to care for what they care for.
As you absorb and analyze this divine revelation, you will come to realize that this goal to think exactly like them IS IMPOSSIBLE! So what use is this information? What’s the point if there’s nothing you can do about it? There’s a saying that Frustration is caused by not being able to “accept” a situation. So accept the fact that we will never be able to think exactly like them and never grow up by their standards and you will find yourself less frustrated by it.
And like the men we’re suppose to be, let’s suck it in and move on. At least now we know.
The Introduction: The Guy’s Guide to Surviving IN Love & Marriage
Ever wish there was a source for an honest, practical, no-nonsense advice on how to deal with your wife or girlfriend? One that doesn’t pull any punches and to hell with being Politically Correct?
So do I, but since I haven’t found one I’ve liked, I might as well write my own. This book is aimed at the typical guy who just wants to be able to have a good, smooth relationship with their spouse or girlfriend. But this is NOT a self-help book, since men don’t read those. This will be more like a step-by-step instruction manual on relationships. I know men don’t read instruction manuals either, but Playboy rejected the article which we all know is what men read in every issue.
Mind you, this is not a female-bashing forum, or a how-to-get-laid, how-to-get-a-girl or how-get-the-upperhand type of manual. This is for the guy that wants to have as close to an equal relationship as possible with your partner. If you think you wear the pants in your relationship and the wife knows who’s boss then this is not for you. This book is about doing our best to work it out, making the best out of situations that we don’t understand and compromising.
Love and Marriage ain’t easy but hopefully, this will help alleviate some of the pain and confusion.
With that in mind, most of the articles will be written in bullet points. With the exception of a few special chapters, most of the topics will be actually be step-by-step instructions with optional notes at the bottom which explains why but you don’t have to read if you don’t want to.
Barack Obama: Our First Asian President
Some compelling facts that may prove once and for all that the President is a “rice-brother.”
Before Barack Obama was actually elected president, Asian American pop culture columnist Jeff Yang had suggested that the Hawaii-born, Indonesian-raised democratic candidate could be considered the first Asian American president in the same way Bill Clinton was jokingly referred to as the first Black president. Well, now that he’s been our commander-in-chief for a few months, I’ve gotten to know Mr. Obama a lot better which leads me to believe that Jeff was even more on target than before.
If I may, I’d like to take this concept a few steps further (perhaps right off a cliff) and run through a list of qualities that, I believe, make Barack Obama, an honorary Asian American.
Read the complete article on Asians in America Magazine.
How to Know If You Should Marry Someone
Wondering if you’ve found Mr. or Mrs. Right? Well it’s your lucky day, because this test is bulletproof!
So I’ve read all the other articles on this topic and they’re all very nice and mushy but mostly seem to be written from the perspective of still being in that romantic “honeymoon” phase of a relationship. This method is hopefully more objective and uses lists, ranking and questions…all very scientific-like.
It’s probably a good idea to take this test regarding your BF/GF after you’ve been seeing them for a while and have gotten to know them really well. When a relationship is new, everything is too wonderful too see a person’s good AND bad sides. This article is best if you’ve been with someone a few months or more but still not absolutely sure if the person is marriage material. And yes, this is how I found my wife.
Read the complete article on eHow.com
How to Get Hot Women to Leave You Alone
I keep getting these spam emails on how to get hot women. Well what if someone doesn’t want hot women, or any kind of woman at all?
If you’re anything like me, then you have this problem too. Luckily for me, I’ve managed to cut this down to just my wife. And though I haven’t tried EVERY method on this list, I know a few people who have and to this day they have successfully been able to have nothing to do with the opposite sex.
Read the complete article on eHow.com
How to tell if it’s True Love
Do you believe in True Love, Love-at-First-Sight, blah blah blah? Here’s the no BS explanation.
The title of this article is actually a bit misleading. Sure, I’ll be talking about True Love, but the fact is, you don’t want True Love. What you want is REAL Love. And this article will list the differences between the two and why REAL love is better.
So first the definition of True Love versus Real Love:
“True love” is what happens is when you first meet someone and everything is wonderful and the world is perfect and he or she is even more so.
“Real Love” is what you CAN have after “True Love” wears off. And it almost always wears off.
Read the complete article on eHow.com
Race Encounters of the Third Kind
Racism is not only alive and well in the world today, it is also alive and well in the animal kingdom. Read on…
Somebody’s gotta say it: Asians are racists. Now I’m not talking about “Asian Americans.” I’m talking about ASIAN Asians, still-living-in-the-mother-country Asians. And the occasional first generation parents who want their sons and daughters to marry “their own kind.”
And everyone’s heard of cases where this Asian enslaved that Asian for 10 years, took away their passports and made them sleep on the floor and eat dried fish. That hits the news almost yearly. And then there’s the less known fact that IN Asia, white people get paid more than native Asian people in the same positions. Wassupwitdat?!!
But last night I discovered something truly mind boggling that goes beyond any of the above examples of self-discrimination. But let me start from the beginning:
Read the complete article on Asians in America Magazine
How to Identify New York City Wildlife
What if New York City were a jungle and the people in it were wild animals? Ok, nevermind.
Last summer, the wife and I took the kids out on Safari (at the San Diego Wild Animal Park). And as I listened to our tour guide describe the life and habits of the animals there, I couldn’t help but think about the many wild creatures that roam the concrete wilderness that is New York City. So I’ve taken it upon myself to catalog the various creatures living in the Big Apple.
TOURISTS (Canius Tekar Picturus)
Some say these visitors are the lifeblood of New York City, bringing much needed dollars to the Hotels, Restaurants (mainly Olive Garden), Museums and Broadway shows much in the same way Bees bring pollen to the flowers. They can be identified by their brightly colored clothes, cameras around their necks and their peculiar habit of holding a map while staring straight up at the sky. Some behavioral scientists believe they are navigating by the clouds and others speculate that they are telling time using the sun. For reasons unknown, tourists can only be found in Manhattan. And in the winter months, they can be distinguished by the ski-lift badges attached to their jackets.
Read the complete article on eHow.com
Will Write for Spare Change
Paid at Last. Paid at Last. Thank God Almighty I’ll Be Paid at Last!
Finally, after all these years of writing in my journal, writing for Asians in America, writing to my penpals on Ryker’s Island, I’ve found a website that will actually pay me to write for them! eHow.com will pay writers depending on how many people view their articles. The only requirement is that they be “How-to” articles. And I think the rate is $.003 per reader. Soon I’ll be able to afford Ramen!
Here’s the link to my eHow.com page. http://www.ehow.com/members/alexechavez.html
Asian Magazine Gets New “Gossip” Format
What would happen if a magazine let someone like me take over as editor-in-chief? Here’s a preview:
While brainstorming about how to make AIA more relevant and increase traffic, the idea of making Asians in America magazine into a trashy tabloid was seriously (not really) considered. Following are some of the kind of gutter-scum stories that we were thinking of running:
Battlestar Galactica’s Grace Park denies eye-lid surgery.
Upon her return from a recent trip to Korea, reporters questioned Ms. Park on whether or not she had her eyelids surgically altered. A popular procedure in Korea but a controversial one in the United States because of it’s connotation that “western” style eyes are more beautiful than Asian eyes. Shocked at the question, Ms. Park broke out in tears sobbing “These are my REAL eyelids!” When pressed further about why she was so upset, she simply said “I’m not upset. It’s just that the stitches still hurt.”
It’s Official: David Carradine is not Asian!
Actor and YellowBook spokesperson David Carradine who played Kwai Chang Kane in the 70′s TV show Kung Fu and it’s horrible sequel Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, joined a growing list of celebrities who have had their geneology traced through DNA testing. The results astounded Carradine and the world. David Carradine has absolutely no Asian blood in him. Not a pint, not an ounce, not a drop. The actor was crushed by the news and vowed to continue play an Asian on TV and teach Tai Chi. When asked about this latest development, a Yellowbook executive said “What, he’s not Oriental? Does this mean we have to pay him more money now?”
Read the complete article in Asians in America Magazine.
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